


do you blame yourself?

by lonelyheartsclub_com



Category: Murder Most Unladylike Series - Robin Stevens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:07:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29028420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonelyheartsclub_com/pseuds/lonelyheartsclub_com
Summary: alfred's forgotten it all.
Kudos: 4





	do you blame yourself?

**Author's Note:**

> tw // bereavment, ptsd

_do you blame yourself, cheng zhi xiang?_

i don't understand the question.

until i see it - i see uncle thomas' pale face among the masses of those dead at the hands of the triads.

_it's normal for a patient in this sort of situation to feel some sort of...guilt._

do i blame myself?

yes. i do.

if i hadn't been so picky over a bloody suit,

if i hadn't insisted things had to be perfect, including how i looked. 

_guilt is what can drive a person to do bad things._

i feel the weight of uncle thomas' body dragging me down, down, down,

his blood soaking to my skin, his glassy eyes staring me down. 

he's not uncle thomas as they load him into a hearse and talk at me in rapid cantonese about expenses,

no,

he's a dead body.

a corpse.

another person that will be added to the list of people killed or kidnapped by triads. 

my uncle thomas,

_cheng zhi xiang? you look faint. is everything okay?_

is dead.

_someone call 911!_

my pulse drops, and so do i.

black spots appear at my vision, and i do not protest as i am dragged down, down, down, into the deep dark of my mind.


End file.
